Zoe is trying to sleep but a mosquito is flying arountd her. She wakes up and sees that her mosquito net is made hole.
Zoe: Great.
She looking for someone to fix that hole in the town. Nobody is in the street, they all are at the church.
Reverend: Let us pray. Dear Lord, we humbly bow our heads before Thee this day, and ask...
Zoe opens the door.
Zoe: Hello. I'm so sorry. With these doors, uh, you should put some money in the basket for WD-40. Sorry. Good-bye.
In Lavon's kitchen.
Zoe: Everyone was in church. Everyone. It's like the world ended. I couldn't even buy a cup of coffee. That should be against some kind of law.
Wade: Morning to you, too, sunshine.
Zoe: Want to know why I'm not in a great mood this morning, Wade?
Wade: Hmm?
Zoe: It's because a Hitchcockian swarm of flies were buzzing in my ear all night long. And you want to know why I have flies? Because your front porch is a cemetery for takeout containers, empty beer bottles and half-eaten waffles.
Wade: I told you you should fix that hole in your screen.
Zoe: Yeah, and you told me that you would fix it.
Wade: Maybe. But you should be nicer to me. 'Cause when all those nice churchgoing people get whooshed up to Heaven in the Rapture, gonna be just me and you left to repopulate the Earth.
Zoe: Listen, cowboy, I have a very important week coming up. Brick has left for his fishing trip, which means I finally have the practice all to myself. So I need to be better than great so that the patients still see me even after Brick gets back. But I can't do that if I haven't had any sleep.
Wade: Cowboy? Cowboy.
In the park.
Lemon: So Daddy's gone... We should make the most of it. Romantic night?
George: Romantic night, huh?
Lemon: Mm-hmm.
George: You mean no father, no little sister, no, uh... No 13th committee members?
Lemon: Oh, no, baby, just you and me... All night.
George: All night? Why, Lemon Breeland, are you planning on, uh, seducing me?
Lemon: I may be. I'm on the fence, though.
George: Maybe I should give you a little push.
Lemon: So we're on, then?
George:Mm-hmm.
Lemon: But not tonight or tomorrow night, because I have to finish my project for the Memory Matrons. How's Thursday sound?
George: Thursday sounds fine. Well... Except it might be a little late. I'm going to be taking depos out in Mobile, and, well, you know how rough that road back can be. I was stuck behind a tractor for an hour last week.
Lemon: Okay, well, then, late it shall be. And I'm going to pamper you, sweetheart, because I hate that you've been working so much.
George: Oh, it's okay. Look, a lot of good people got defrauded in the spill. And this class action suit is going to help them out. Besides, Mobile is growing on me. The guys took me to this amazing little tapas place last week.
Lemon: Tapas?
George: Yeah.
Lemon: Since when do you like tapas?
George: I don't know. A while. I'll tell you what, we should go sometime.
Lemon: Of course. Tapas. Yum. Of course we should. I can't wait. Not Thursday, though. Oh, there's Delia Ann. I better go compliment her outfit. She is picking out the new head of the Mobile Bay Memory Matrons this week. All right? I'll see you.
Lemon says goodbye to George and runs to see Delia Ann.
Lemon: Oh, Delia Ann! Delia Ann.
The revenrend and his wife knocks on Zoe's door.
Reverend: Well, hello there.
Beverly: Hello.
Zoe: Hi...
Reverend: I'm the Reverend Mayfair. This is my wife Beverly.
Beverly: How do you do?
Zoe: Uh, listen, uh, if this is about that whole church door thing this morning, I am so sorry.
Reverend: Oh, no. Don't you bother yourself about that at all. No, no. Actually, we're here to officially welcome you to BlueBell.
Zoe: Okay, this is the point where you hand me a pamphlet or something?
Reverend: Excuse me?
Zoe: You give me a cake, and then I have to come tour a time share in the rectory or something.
Beverly: I don't know what you're used to, sweetie, but down here, a Bundt cake is just a Bundt cake.
Zoe: So you don't want me to come to church?
Reverend: No, of course we want you to come to church.
Zoe: You're just not trying to get me to come to church?
Beverly: You're very welcome to come to church.
Zoe: If I take this Bundt cake, it's not an implied contract that I will come to church?
Reverend: Um, we'll just leave the cake right here on the porch, and you can decide.
Beverly: And, uh, on the first Sunday of every month we host a pancake breakfast, and we hope you can come.
Reverend: Uh, but you don't have to.
Beverly: Don't have to.
Reverend: Bye-bye.
Beverly: All right. Bye-bye.
Reverend & Beverly:Nice meeting you.
In Lavon's kitchen.
Lavon: Hi. I'm Lavon Hayes, and I'm itch free... Where it counts.
Zoe: Hi. I'm Zoe Hart, and I am freaked out at the moment.
Lavon: This jock itch cream wants me as their spokesperson. Did you believe me?
Zoe: That you're itch free where it counts? Yeah, but I don't want to think about it.
Lavon: You know, it's commercial and a print campaign.. The works. Very lucrative offer. But it's humiliating, right?
Zoe: Not unless you want the whole world to think you used to have rashy junk.
Lavon: And "no" it is. What's with the cake?
Zoe: Oh. It's a quote-unquote "present" from the friendly neighbourhood preacher and his wife.
Lavon: Oh, the Mayfairs?
Zoe: Yeah, they seem to think it's okay to drop in unannounced and bully you into coming to church.
Lavon: Zoe, the Mayfairs are kind people. I'm sure they were just trying to be good neighbors. Zoe: In New York, being a good neighbour is leaving each other alone.
Lavon: Yeah, well, BlueBellers aren't exactly known for leaving anything alone.
Zoe: They're doing a pretty good job of it, ignoring my practice. Ooh, speaking of which...
Lavon: Oh! Yeah. Big week, huh?
Zoe: Ding-dong, the Brick is gone. Cake?
Lavon: Sure. Why not?
At the practice.
Zoe: Hello. Dr. Hart's office. Only Dr. Hart, no one besides Dr. Hart. Dr. Hart speaking.
Addy enters.
Zoe: Hello. I'm Dr. Hart, the one and only doctor who will be taking care of you today.
Addy: Oh, great. I'm Addy Pickett, and I am the one and only nurse who will be taking care of you today.
Zoe: What?
Addy: Brick asked if I could help out this week. Figured you might need a hand.
Zoe: Brick thinks I need a babysitter?
Addy: Whoa. I'm no babysitter. I'm a registered nurse with 15 years of experience, eight of which were here with Harley and Brick, so I know this office like the back of my hand. So I believe the words you're looking for are: "Thanks, Addy. Appreciate the help."
Wade enters with a man.
Wade: Hey, Doc. Crazy Earl needs a once-over.
Zoe: What happened?
Wade: Old man was passed out drunk underneath my boat trailer. I backed over him.
Zoe: You ran over him?
Wade: I didn't... Sit down. I didn't run over him, okay? I was going fishing, and I backed over him with my boat trailer, which weighs next to nothing.
Zoe: Sir, are you having any trouble breathing? Okay, we don't need to do that anymore.
Addy: Pulse is fine.
Wade: See there? He's drunk as a skunk. You couldn't hurt him if you tried. Now all the good fishing spots are going to be gone.
Zoe: Really? You ran over him, and you're annoyed?
Wade: Like I randomly check to see if anyone happens to be passed out underneath my boat.
Earl: I was asleep. You are pretty.
Zoe: And you are lucky. No broken bones, your abdomen, it's soft and non-tender. I think you're going to be fine. No thanks to you. Let's get you in there to lie down. I think you could use a nap.
Earl: The last time I tried that, I got run over.
Wade: Backed over.
Addy: Oh, Dr. Hart? Here are some test results that just came in. Normally, I'd leave them for Brick, seeing as how it's his patient and all, but these look a little time-sensitive.
Zoe: Okay. What... What test results?
Addy: Peter Mayfair. Looks like he was in last week.
Zoe: Ah, yes, the good and right Reverend Mayfair. Sprained halo?
Addy: Not exactly.
Zoe: Syphilis?
In Zoe's office.
Addy: Reverend Mayfair and his wife are on their way over.
Zoe: Both of them?
Addy: Well, I only asked for Peter to come, but you know how they are. Well, they're always together. It's inspiring, really... A true love story.
Zoe: Oh, that's funny... I don't remember the syphilis part in Romeo and Juliet.
Addy: Watch your tongue. That's our preacher you're talking about.
Zoe: I'm sorry. Do we have any other patients scheduled for today?
Addy: Nope. Of course, it's not a surprise. You're not exactly assimilating. But I listen to the words of Reverend Mayfair. I want to be a good Christian woman, so I'll give you a tip. How's my hair look?
Zoe: What?
Addy: How's my hair look?
Zoe: Bigger than it did two hours ago.
Addy: Exactly. Standing appointment at the salon every Monday. Now, do I need my hair done once a week? No, I do not. But the beauty parlour is the absolute best place to bond, gossip, show the people in this town you're serious about being one of them, and maybe even pick up a patient or two.
Zoe: Really?
Addy: Yeah, you should give it a try, maybe fix those highlights while you're at it.
Zoe: All right. I guess... Beauty parlour I can do.
Addy: Let me call Susie, butter her up for you.
The Reverend and his wife enters.
Addy: Oh, y'all have a seat.
The Reverend: Thank you, Addy. Dr. Hart, we meet again.
Zoe: Listen, Mrs. Mayfair, I have to go over your husband's test results, so if you wouldn't mind just waiting outside...
The ReverendDr. Hart, that's all right. We share everything.
Zoe: Yeah, about that... I just think that you'd be more comfortable...
Beverly: It's fine, Dr. Hart. If Peter has anything at all wrong with him, I need to be here. We realize you didn't call him in here to tell us he was fine.
Zoe: Okay. Just gonna come right out and say it. You've tested positive for syphilis. But the good news is, it's easily cured. Just a round of antibiotics, and you're all set.
The Reverend: I'm sorry, I don't understand. Is-Is there some other kind of syphilis other than the-the one...
Beverly: Did you possibly mean psoriasis? His skin is unusually dry.
Zoe: No, I meant syphilis.
The Reverend: Dr. Hart, I'm married.
Beverly: For 23 years.
The Reverend: Clearly, there's been some sort of mix-up down at the lab. Now, this kind of thing must happen all the time, right?
Zoe: Sometimes. Not really. I guess, technically, it's possible...
The Reverend: Well, there you are, you see? So let's just retake that test and I'm sure this whole thing will be cleared up. Or maybe... Maybe we should wait for Dr. Breeland to come back.
Zoe: No! No, I will run it again. Now, I don't want to alarm you or cause you any more discomfort than you're already feeling, but we need to test you, too.
At Lemon's house.
Lemon: It is a matter of propriety. The Memory Matrons and our esteemed leader, Delia Ann Lee, believe that the bridge over Jumping Frog Creek deserves restoration. For 105 years, the covered bridge was the very symbol of our town. But then came the storm to end all storms... Katrina. And our beautiful bridge was taken from our warm embrace, and with that, Mr. Mayor, our hopes and our dreams. Okay, was that too much hopes and dreams?
Cricket: No, it's perfect. So dramatic.
Anna Beth: It's like a movie trailer: "Then came the storm!"
Lemon: Okay, now y'all just ruined it.
Cricket: Oh, Lemon, relax. Why are you so nervous?
Lemon: Delia Ann Lee put me in charge of this, okay? Delia Ann Lee herself. I think that she is grooming me to take over the Memory Matrons just like... Just like my mama did.
Anna Beth: I didn't even think she liked you.
Lemon: It is called tough love, Anna Beth. All right, you are always hardest on the ones you like the most.
Anna Beth: Like in An Officer and a Gentleman?
Lemon: Yes, like An Officer and a Gentleman, mm-hmm. But ladies, I can only get the nod if I can convince the mayor to use the redevelopment funds to rebuild the bridge. So, hopefully, my candy diorama will sway him.
Anna Beth: Mayor Hayes has a huge sweet tooth.
Cricket: Oh, it's in the bag.
Anna Beth: Mm-hmm. There's no way the mayor won't love your presentation.
In Lavon's kitchen.
Lavon: I hate these stupid presentations. I swear, it is the worst part about being mayor. Every year I got to sit through these dog and pony shows to convince me to use the redevelopment money for whatever fool thing they thought of.
Dash: And come election time, you'll be called the fool who did it.
George: So don't do a fool thing, Lavon. You know what you should do? You should use that money to widen the road come off of Highway 98.
Lavon: The road? Yeah, that's a good suggestion. I'll think about that.
George: No, no, wait, wait, I'm-I'm serious about this, 'cause every time I go to Mobile for work, I get stuck behind a huge tractor or a herd of cows or something. It's just getting ridiculous. If you widen that road, then... Hey, Zoe.
Zoe: Hey.
George: If you widen that road, then maybe buses'd actually come in the center of town, instead of dropping people off at the spur.
Zoe: Yeah, if you fix that road, maybe ambulances could actually get here in an emergency.
George: See that? That's life or death. Thank you, Zoe.
Zoe: Uh-huh.
George: That is a great point. See, what better way to spend the money?
At Lemon's house.
Lemon: This is the perfect use of the money.
Cricket: And the model looks both beautiful and delicious.
Anna Beth: Mmm. When the Memory Matrons finally recognize you, all this time and hard work is gonna pay off.
In Lavon's kitchen.
George: All right, look, I'll tell you what... We'll shoot for it. Half court. Best of five. If I win, we use the money to fix the road.
Lavon: Okay. Let's see what you got, Tucker.
Dash: Oh, Lord.
At Lemon's house.
Lemon: Democracy at work... Really makes you proud.
At the practice.
Addy: Oh, morning. I made coffee, but we're out of cream. But in a shocking twist, nothing on the schedule this morning, so I figure I'll step on out and get some now that you're here. Maybe get some breakfast, too, seeing as we are free, free, free. Oh, Mayfairs' test results came back. You're kidding! So it wasn't a mix-up at the lab. I can't believe it. The Mayfairs?
Zoe: Addie, it's an unwritten rule in every E.R... The sweeter they seem, the more depraved they are.
Addy: The Mayfairs are not depraved.
Zoe: Well, maybe not both of them. Since the minister exhibited first, he's probably patient zero. Which means now I have to tell the perfect little minister's wife that her husband had an affair.
Addy: Oh, hold on there. You don't know that.
Zoe: Well, I suppose Beverly could have been the one who cheated, but it's unlikely, given--
Addy: I mean, you don't know either of them cheated.
Zoe: It's syphilis.
Addy: This is the minister and his wife we're talking about They're role models. You mess that up, you could do a lot of damage.
Zoe: I'm not gonna do any damage. I'm just gonna give her the information, plain and simple.
At the church. Beverly is crying.
Zoe: It's okay, it... It's okay. Shh! Shh...
Beverly: My-My whole life I have... Only had sexual relations with one man.
Zoe: Then I guess we both know how you must have gotten syphilis. Deep breaths. There you go, deep breaths.
Beverly: But-But Peter loves me. I-I... I trust him.
Zoe: I know. Don't blame yourself.
Beverly: I wasn't.
Zoe: Good, good. Look, I know that this is a shock, but people cheat. Even the people we trust the most.
Beverly: Oh...
Zoe: But hey, hey, what do I know? Am I married? Clearly not. So why don't we just get that penicillin shot over with, okay? It's more of a butt thing. Why don't we go back to my office?
At the Rammer Jammer.
Tom: My, Zoe, you look real pretty tonight.
Zoe: Thanks, Tom. Any wine you have not from a box, please.
Wade: That's funny, I remember boxed wine being your Achilles heel. Slutty Achilles high heel.
Zoe: Just pour it. You know, that guy you almost killed is fine, by the way, thanks for asking.
Wade: Why don't you just ask me what they're talking about?
Zoe: Because I don't care.
Wade: Really? 'Cause it's big news.
Zoe: And yet, I don't care.
Wade: I mean, if BlueBell had a gossip rag, this'd be the cover story.
Zoe: Which I wouldn't read.
Wade: Well...
Zoe: Okay! What's going on?
Wade: The minister and his wife split up. Apparently, somebody planted a bug in her ear that the minister cheated.
Tom: My goodness! Who would say a cruel thing like that?!
Wade: Sad.
Zoe: I'll take the whole bottle to go.
In Lavon's kitchen.
Lavon: There's a terrible rumour going around town. It's about the Mayfairs.
Zoe: Ah, right. I may have heard something about that.
Lavon: Obviously, it's just some huge misunderstanding.
Zoe: Oh, I'm pretty sure it's not.
Lavon: What did you do?
Zoe: Me?
Lavon: Yeah.
Zoe: I just did my job. I certainly did not split them up. Whatever happened with the Mayfairs is not my fault.
Lavon: Okay, so you are not involved in propagating rumours that the minister was unfaithful?
Zoe: I didn't propagate any rumours... Exactly. Look, even if I did know something, I couldn't talk about it, because of doctor-patient confidentiality. But come on, you can't act that surprised. A minister having an affair? That is so cliche.
Lavon: Oh, enough with the New York thing. Lavon Hayes does not do cynicism. And neither does BlueBell. We believe in the Mayfairs, Zoe.
Zoe: Lavon, 50% of marriages end in divorce. You know, life goes on. People survive. I'm sure this town has something better to talk about.
At the hairdresser.
Delma: It makes you wonder how long it's been going on.
The hairdresser: Mm-hmm.
Delma: And with whom? And when in the world did Peter find the time? I mean, those two are always together.
The hairdresser: Oh, there's always time for a quickie if one is highly motivated. Can I help you, Sugar?
Zoe: Yeah, I think Addy called. I'm the new doctor in town. Zoe Hart. First exam is free.
The hairdresser: Right. What can I do for you, hon? Looks like you need a trim. Some highlights, for sure.
Zoe: I've been going to Sally Hershberger since I was seven. She just gets crazy jealous. I don't want to put you at any risk.
The hairdresser: Mm-hmm.
Zoe: Maybe just a blow out?
The hairdresser: Sure thing. Have a seat.
At Lemon’s house.
Lemon: Oh! My! Delia Ann! You're here early. I wasn't expecting you till this afternoon. May I get you some sweet tea?
Delia Ann: Oh, no need. I was just admiring your beautiful diorama.
Lemon: Oh, thank you so much. I've worked so very hard on it. And the presentation for the mayor is ready, too.
Delia Ann: Oh, is that so? What on earth for?
Lemon: Excuse me?
Delia Ann: Do you take me for a fool?
Lemon: I-I... I don't understand...
Delia Ann: I know all about it, Lemon. How you let George circumvent the system. Just to widen a road. Is there anything even remotely historical about a road?
Lemon: I... I have no idea what you're talking about.
Delia Ann: Oh, really? So you don't know that George has been playing back-door politics with the mayor and the redevelopment money has already been committed to a road project. Honestly, Lemon, bless your heart, but if you can't control your own fiancé, how in the world can you expect to command an important organization like the Memory Matrons?
Lemon: But, uh...
At the hairdresser.
Shula : You know, my bedroom window overlooks the rectory. And for 15 years, not a peep. And then, suddenly, all hell is breaking loose.
Delma: Mm.
Wanda: Sorry I'm late.
Delma: No prob, sweetie.
Shula: I thought it must be someone else, but no. It was Peter and Beverly. Now, I couldn't make out the words exactly, but they definitely were angry.
Delma: I'm not so sure it wasn't Beverly's fault that they split up. She's been acting real different lately. Wearing lipstick. She had me do her toes a few weeks back-- purple.
Shula: Oh! Well, it could be Peter tried to put his foot down. Want his old Beverly back.
Wanda: No, it's my fault! I'm the reason the Mayfairs broke up. It was me!
At Lavon’s home.
Zoe: Come on, Lavon. Clearly, that shampoo girl slept with Reverend Mayfair. You know, how much more proof do you need?
Lavon: Did she say she slept with him?
Zoe: No. But I have Addy out looking for her, so I'll be able to confirm it soon enough.
Lavon: Why you doing this? Why do you have to believe the worst in people?
Zoe: People cheat, Lavon. Lots of people.
Lavon: Yeah, the Mayfairs ain't like that. They are honest, decent people. They love each other, they have faith in each other, and I have faith in them.
Zoe: Fine. Have faith. I have science, and I am sure I'm right.
Lavon: You sure?
Zoe: Yeah. Science tells me that I'm 99% sure that Reverend Mayfair cheated.
Lavon: So you admit there's a one percent chance that he didn't.
Zoe: You know what? No, I don't. Because people cheat. People that you love and trust. Just like my mother did to my father. There is no one percent. That is just the statistical margin of error.
At Lemon’s house.
George: Wow. This looks, uh... What is it?
Lemon: Herbed goat cheese crostini. Shrimp stuffed zucchini balls. Tapas, George-- your new favourite food.
George: Oh, okay. Well, that's so, so nice of you. That's, uh... Thank you.
Lemon: So glad you like them.
George: Is something the matter?
Lemon: Oh. Nothing at all. I mean, you did go behind my back and get the mayor to use my redevelopment money for a new road project, but it's no big deal. It's trivial, tiny, just like your tapas.
George: Wait, since when have you been interested in the redevelopment funds?
Lemon: I've been talking about the covered bridge project for the past three months.
George: Oh. Sweetie, you just, you have so many projects, you know. Sometimes it's just, you know, in one ear...
Lemon: There's a diorama in the living room!
George: I'm so, so sorry. It was really just a spur of the moment thing. I mean, I just happened to mention the road, and then Lavon, he thought it was a great idea. I apologize. I should have remembered. Okay?
Lemon: Now you can go back and get my money from the mayor.
George: Yeah, I'm not gonna go do that.
Lemon: Excuse me?
George: I mean, sure, honey, I mean, the covered bridge is beautiful, but it doesn't serve any actual function.
Lemon: It functions as a reminder...
George: Of the past, yeah. But BlueBe can't keep dwelling on the past, Lemon. We got to look to the future, too, you know. We go and upgrade that road into town, it's gonna increase tourism, it's gonna improve our quality of life. I mean, Zoe Hart even thinks that we can go ahead and save some lives, you know. It can cut down on ambulance response times.
Lemon: Oh, is that what Zoe Hart thinks? Well, if Zoe thinks that we need a new road, then I guess the discussion is over.
George: Come on, Lemon.
Lemon: Good night, George.
George: Wait, I thought I was staying over.
Lemon Oh... Is that what you thought? Or is that what Zoe Hart thought? Think again George Tucker.
In the street.
Earl: Pretty lady! This is good-bye!
Zoe: You've got to be kidding me. Earl!
At the Rammer Jammer.
Wade: Why the long face, Mr. Mayor?
Lemon: Just got off the phone with my agent. You know, I thought since the jock itch people wanted me, there might be other endorsement opportunities. Turns out I was wrong.
Wade: Well, on the bright side, at least people with itchy junks still love you.
Anna Beth: I heard about your new road.
Wade: Okay.
Lavon: Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.
Anna Beth: Is it? The Memory Matrons have a meeting set with you next week to peach restoring the bridge at Fall's Creek.
Lavon: No offense, but that's another reason I'm glad I chose a road.
Anna Beth: The ramifications. Lemon and the rest of the society, worked day and night on that presentation. There was a candy diorama just for you... And now she's in trouble with Delia Ann. I'm telling you, if Lemon gets kicked out of the Memory Matrons, it will be all your fault.
Lavon: I didn't realize... I-I'm sorry. Tell Lemon...
Tom: Hey, uh, Crazy Earl's on the roof of the hardware store. He said he's gonna jump.
In the street.
Zoe: It's okay, Earl, just take it easy. Don't do anything rash.
Earl: I'm gonna jump.
Zoe: Isn't anybody gonna do anything? Don't you have a wacky volunteer fire department or something?
Tom: Well, they don't like to be called on their poker night, so...
Earl: I'm jumping! Tell my family good-bye!
Zoe: Somebody should go up there. Isn't there a social worker or suicide hotline?
Shelley: Oh, honey, that's just Crazy Earl.
Zoe: You people think I'm cynical.
Shelley: Hey, you want a pretzel? I steal them from work and keep them in case I go somewhere there's nothing to eat.
Zoe: What?!
Shelley: Good.
Earl: I'm jumping!
Shelley: Whoo-hoo! Go, Wade!
Wade: Okay, time to come down.
Earl: No! I'm not moving!
Wade: Come on, Earl. You're not gonna jump.
Earl: Here I go!
Zoe: No!
Wade: Damn it, Earl, come with me! Stop this!
Earl: I won't.
Wade: I'm not gonna do it. Now, come on. Look at the doc down there. She's about to pee her pants. Come with me before you hurt yourself.
Earl: Only if you do it.
Wade: No.
Earl: Well... Say good-bye, everyone!
Wade: Moon River Wider than a mile I'm crossing you In style Someday Oh, dream maker You heartbreaker
Wade & Earl: Wherever you're going I'm going your way
Everybody: Two drifters Off to see the world There's such a lot of world to see...
Wade: I'm done.
Everybody: We're after the same Rainbow's end Waitin' round the bend My huckleberry friend Moon River and me.
Wade: Okay, okay. Hey, Dad. It's time to go home. Let's go.
Zoe: Dad...?
Lavon: Every month, Earl cashes the government check and then heads straight for the liquor store. Then he gets drunk and he climbs up on that roof. And every month, his son comes and sings him down.
Zoe: Wow. I had no idea.
Lavon: You know what? Yeah, maybe 99 out of 100 people will disappoint you. I don't know. I think you find the magic of the world in the margin of error.
At Lemon’s house.
George: I've been calling. Started to get scared you dropped your phone in the toilet. Again. Come on, Lemon, you want to tell me what's going on? I mean, 'cause I know that you can't really be jealous of Zoe Hart.
Lemon: I'm not jealous of Zoe Hart. She has no manners, dubious breeding and hair like a grill brush. She and I aren't even in the same universe.
George: Okay, then, you want to tell me why you've been acting like a crazy person ever since she came to town?
Lemon: It's what she represents, George. Ever since she got here, you're the one that's changed. From your new friends in Mobile, to the tapas and the road. And do you even realize that the last three DVDs that you bought for movie night were Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese and Nora Ephron?
George: You love Nora Ephron.
Lemon: All right, you know, that's besides the point. It is like Zoe Hart has flipped some New York switch in you and you are just not the same person anymore.
George: You know what? That's ridiculous. I... All right, fine. I miss New York sometimes. I lived there for two years. I'm not gonna just sit here and pretend it didn't happen.
Lemon: I don't want you to pretend, George. I want you to want to be here. Not wondering what sort of cosmopolitan thing is around the corner or trying to make BlueBell into something that it's not. I like the way that things are here. I like that we are off the beaten path. I like that there's no rush hour, and there are only four people that work in the police department because nothing bad ever happens here. It is enough for me.
George: Lemon... Hey, look, BlueBell is my home. I chose to come back here.
Lemon: And once, you chose to leave. And how do I know that someday you won't miss it and take that fancy new road of yours right back out of town?
George: Lemon.
At the practice.
Addy: Found the shampoo girl. She's in the waiting room. I hope you know what you're doing. The whole town's up in arms about the Mayfairs. Pancake breakfast is tomorrow. If people don't turn up, that's an entire tradition you will have broken.
Zoe: Just send her in.
Wanda: Hi.
Zoe: Please have a seat. Listen, I'm sorry for dragging you in like this, but we have a medical... Situation on our hands. And I'm just wondering if you've been experiencing any random symptoms-- fever, sore throat, rashes, sores?
Wanda: Wow, you're a really good doctor. How'd you know that?
Zoe: Just a hunch. Why don't you tell me what's been going on?
Wanda: Well, a couple weeks ago, I got this sore on my hand, and now there's this rash on my feet. And I've got a canker in my mouth that won't go away.
Zoe: Let me take a look.
Wanda: Ahhh... A-ah.
Zoe: Wanda...
Wanda: Hmm?
Zoe: There's a good chance that you have syphilis.
Wanda: Syphilis? Isn't... isn't that a...?
Zoe: Yeah. That's why I need to ask you who you've slept with other than Reverend Mayfair.
Wanda: What? Gross! I never slept with Reverend Mayfair!
Zoe: So, it's the minister's wife you've been having the affair with?
Wanda: Ew! What are you talking about?!
Zoe: Look, I-I won't tell anyone, but this is serious. I need you to tell me the truth.
Wanda: I am! The truth is, I only have sex with my boyfriend, Chase Cobb. Been dating since we were 14. But he's in the Navy now, and I only see him maybe twice a year.
Zoe: Then what did you mean in the beauty shop, when you said that you had broken up the Mayfairs?
Wanda: I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
Zoe: Wanda, it's important.
Wanda: I promised. I pierced Mrs. Mayfair's belly button! I know I'm not licensed or anything, but I just do it sometimes on the side, to make money. And I gave one to Mrs. Mayfair's niece and then Mrs. Mayfair wanted one, but she's a preacher's wife! Oh, I should've known better. I guess Reverend Mayfair took one look at it and threw her out. Oh, I'm going to hell, aren't I?
Zoe: Addy, I need a blood test! Then I'm going to need you to track down a sailor named Chase Cobb 'cause he's in big trouble.
Addy: Where you going?
Zoe: I have to find the Mayfairs. It turns out, there is a one percent.
In the street.
Zoe: It would be nearly impossible for anyone to deduce that the girl who gave you the belly button piercing would have had a syphilis outbreak on her hand when she did it. Again, I am so, so sorry.
Beverly: I'm the one who should be apologizing. I guess I just wanted a moment to try and break free of being the minister's wife. I wanted to try and be reckless for a moment. Look where it got me.
The reverend: No, it's me. You see, I should have seen how stifled you were.
Beverly: Mm, not stifled, but it's such a big constant responsibility being someone the whole town takes their every cue off of.
Zoe: I know. Right? Sorry. It's just, you two are the real deal. Sweet, loving. I've never met people like you before.
The reverend: And clearly, we can do better. We will do better.
Beverly: And the important thing is, we're back together and working things out. And just in time for the pancake breakfast.
Zoe: Um... yeah. About that, I don't think anyone's coming. The gossip and all. That was my fault, too. Brick leaves for a week, I break the town.
The reverend: Don't be silly, Zoe. Sure, w-we all have our doubts from time to time. But there's one thing we will always believe in.
The reverend and Beverly: BlueBell.
At the breakfast.
Zoe: Hey. Coffee. And on a Sunday.
Wade: Maybe this town isn't as backwards as you thought.
Zoe: I saw what you did for your dad. I thought it was... Kind of heroic.
Wade: When your dad's the town drunk, you get used to climbing roofs. That's all. Doesn't mean anything. Look, I'm heading back to the plantation. Want a ride?
Zoe: Actually... I think I'm going to hang out a little while longer.
At Lemon’s table.
George: You were right. New York changed me. I learned to like the subway, and I'd have a good slice of pizza at 2:00 in the morning. But at the end of the day, none of those things matter. The things that matter, they haven't changed one bit. I love you, Lemon. I love you and I love BlueBell. And I'll tell you what. They could put an interstate through the middle of this town, and I promise you, I'd still never want to leave.
Lemon: What's this?
George: I think it's time we started looking for a house, don't you?
Lavon: Oh, Delia Ann. Delia Ann. Can I have a word, please?
Delia Ann: Oh, certainly, Mr. Mayor.
Lavon: Good. I just wanted to tell you that Lemon Breeland's covered bridge presentation, oh, was very impressive.
Delia Ann: Really?
Lavon: Yeah.
Delia Ann: You saw it? The candy and everything?
Lavon: Of course I did. The candy diorama. Delicious.
Delia Ann: You actually ate that thing?
Lavon: Well, I just wanted to let you know that, uh, because of Lemon's outstanding work, I moved some things around in the budget and was able to find some extra funds to put towards the covered bridge.
Delia Ann: I don't know what to say. Thank you!
Lavon: Oh, you're welcome.
Delia Ann: Thank you so much, Mr. Mayor! How on earth did you find the extra money?
Lavon: Uh... Well, let's just say, uh, it wasn't easy.
At Lavon’s kitchen, on the TV.
Lavon: Ah, I'm Lavon Hayes, and I'm itch free-- where it counts.
At the breakfast.
Zoe: Hey. Wait up.
Lavon: You-you coming to church?
Zoe: A first time for everything. I thought that I could check out what this whole one-percent thing is about. You think it matters that I'm half-Jewish?
Lavon: Oh, are you kidding? The Reverend Mayfair is a huge fan of the Old Testament. But half-Jewish doesn't mean you don't have to stay for the whole thing. The reason that door is so loud-- so you can't sneak out halfway through.
Zoe: That is brilliant.
Lavon: The man knows what he's doing.
Zoe: Guess so.
Lavon: Guess so?
Zoe: Fine. The man knows what he's doing.
Lavon: And Amen.
